Language & Communication such stress.

toning down the mode a lil' bit.
After last night plus an 9hour of sleep, waking up feeling like shit just gave me another realization, damn this place is killing me. Now don't get me wrong, I don't blame it on the people & the place, it's a working progress for me. Since I was in High School been dreading Filipino language, I know it's a shame, My own National Language can't even master it, worst dreading it. But I'm not going into that subject, like I said working progress. What I'm going to 'let out' is how I miss my hometown & my dialect.

I admit I find it hard to speak Filipino that I had to speak 'Taglish' most of the time just to express, explain things. To tell you the truth can't even kid around, how can I even throw punch lines If I don't know the translation for that word, How can I deliver a good joke, If I stutter & blab while saying so coz' my mind is still in the process of translating it.

I think I'm mentally overworked, everyday I would speak this language in order to communicate, My mind is constantly translating words at the end of the day I would just curse coz' I miss saying those words in my dialect. thank God, I have other people here from where I came from, It's really comforting to speak in my own dialect. I live to express, not able to do so is weighing me down. I miss throwing punch lines jokes with my friends or my 'kababayan', I miss the puns we throw in & just laugh whole entire conversation.

humor. gadd I miss the humor I like, the humor I've been doing since I was a kid, seriously jokes here are just FLAT. there are some that are funny, but most of the time--sh!t that was joke? Comedy here is so different. I miss those jokes that makes me 'kutang!', damn living in a city like this I need that kind of laughte--I believe that laughter is the best medicine--laughing like 'hehehe' ain't gonna help man.

Although malls are great here, coz' everything I want to buy is being released here but the expenses is off the roof. I miss those days where I could hit the mall with just P200 in my pocket, hell even P50 you'd be fine roaming around the whole city. I miss this. One more thing even if you got zero money, the hell I care frak it can walk home. I MISS WALKING DOWN THE STREET without the notion of me getting stab at the back.

Walking has been therapeutic for me. That's why I love it so much, that's why I feel like I'm dying here coz' I can't walk the streets....

...Finally I've let it out here. don't get me wrong, there have been a lot of good things here too but you know sometimes this kind of sh!t hits you, so you sulk for a lil' while but you have to get back to reality--life must go on--sh!t happens and drama ain't gonna solve it.